If you follow me on Instagram, you would know a lot about what Anika and I get up to. It all looks amazing and inspirational (that’s what the messages say!) blah blah. You know, I like to view life through my rose colored glasses… But last week, has been HARD! It started with my husband getting the flu and then me and then Anika fell sick (fever!) for the first time ever. Paranoid first time mum with an unhappy first-time sick child, I rushed her to the doctors and it was just viral that she got from us. She got better in a day but has been up from midnight to 4 am on Friday night and then every hour last night still recovering from her cold…
My husband has a big move happening at his work since last few weeks and has been working long hours, 7 days a week. Fortunately our family lives close by and my mum-in-law has been great help. I am insanely grateful for my daughter and love her to bits but motherhood comes with its own set of challenges. Sleep deprivation has got me really vulnerable today, so I thought I must open up about my low’s of being a mum and the 3 things I have struggled with the most in last 6 months…
- SLEEP DEPRIVATION- I wont ‘sleep train’ my daughter but I will never judge a parent who has done it. Lack of sleep is really hard. I can count the number of nights, I have gotten more than 2 hours sleep at a stretch in the last 6 months. My friends say the sleep cycle gets longer at 9 months, fingers crossed.
- BODY IMAGE- I am also a yoga teacher and have practiced Ashtanga Vinyasa yoga/meditation since 2013 till the day Anika was born for 10 hours a week (no matter what). So, I have been pretty fit! I gained (crazy) 20 kgs in my pregnancy and I have lost over half of it BUT I have not practiced yoga much in last 6 months (to be very honest) and I feel pretty shitty about that bulging tummy and so much more to loose. Sometimes, I feel like ‘GUILT’ feels synonymous to being a mum. Guilty if you give yourself time (cause selfish?) and guilty if you don’t (cause then you are probably not the best version of yourself?). Well, I am going to consciously make some more ME time in next 6 months (esp since Anika sleeps on bed more + is happy to play with others too) without feeling guilty about it.
- THE TITLE OF “WORK AT HOME/ STAY AT HOME MUM”- I have worked since I was 18 years till I was 8 months pregnant. I have always been “independent”. I have paid off my university fees and traveled the world on my own. We are incredibly lucky that I can choose to stay at home with Anika for the next few years and I plan to home school her till she turns 3 years old. But every now and then, I do get rubbed off by the ‘society’ on how “lucky” I am to stay at home with her…To make it clear the role of a ‘full-time mum” (equals 3 full time jobs) is surely harder than any job I have ever done.
Last six months have been the best six months of my life but also the hardest. As I celebrate the triumphs of motherhood each day, I thought I must share my tirade’s too cause life exist in a sort of balance and I must accept both sides of it to stay grounded and real.
